Murder, Mystery, & Dating Mayhem by D E Haggerty Cover Reveal with Excerpt and Giveaway!

Humorous Chick Lit with a dash of Murder/Mystery

Date Published: March  1, 2015

My name is Izzy. I drink too much, am clumsier than a newborn foal, and my brain-to-mouth filter often malfunctions. My daredevil husband killed himself in a parachuting accident five years ago and my best friend Jack has decided it’s time I jump back in the dating pool. He’s perfectly happy to throw me in if I don’t listen. Just when things in the dating world start to heat up, my grandma dies. Only her knitting group of Jessica Fletcher wannabes is sure it’s murder. I’m not convinced but I’m always up for a bit of excitement as long as it doesn’t lead to a night in jail. Well, more than one night anyway. Will I miss my chance at love because I’m chasing imaginary killers? Did someone really kill grandma or am I and my merry band of geriatric thieves imagining things?

 

EXCERPT

The first ‘date’ starts off well. His name is Ed. He’s not drooling or anything, is talking to me and not my boobs, and seems to be interested in my graphic design work. Maybe Jack was right after all. I need to get myself back into the dating game.

“So,” Ed says after we’ve exchanged the usual pleasantries and some small talk. He leans forward and starts to whisper. “How do you feel about whips and chains?”

Not the appropriate moment to be sipping my wine, but how could I have expected that! I choke and spit a bit of wine into Ed’s face, which seems to excite him. He wiggles his eyebrows. “I take it that’s a yes?” He asks eagerly.

“Um no. That’s a definite no. N.O.” I lift my glass and down the remainder of my wine. The bell rings and I yell loudly “Next!”

Ed looks disappointed as he walks to the next table, but I’ve got my eyes on the prize. A cocktail waitress is headed my way. I snag another glass of wine before turning to my next date. Oh dear lord! The man is older than grandma. He struggles to lower himself in the chair opposite mine.

There goes that annoying bell again. Time to put my game face on. I smile and decide that I’ll check this guy out for grandma. She could use a date. Although to be perfectly honest, I don’t remember her going out with a man – ever. There’s no time like the present.

The old man’s name is Wilbert and the five minutes pass pleasantly enough – as long as I pretend he’s dating grandma and not trying to pick me up. When the bell rings again, I rush from my chair to help Wilbert stand. I take his elbow and guide him to his next date – a girl that could be his great granddaughter.

I sit back down and gather my courage for my next winner. I try to smile at the guy across from me, really I do. But have you ever tried to smile at a man with the biggest comb over ever? Let me tell you, it’s not easy. I may be grimacing a tiny bit.

Mr. Combover leans over and leers at me. Yes, leers at me! His eyes are surgically attached to my boobs. True, I have good boobs, but maybe pay a bit of attention to the person attached to the boobs?

Finally done leering, he leans back and takes in my face. “You’re not the youngest anymore.” Really? That’s the first thing Mr. Combover is going to say?

“I could say the same about you,” I respond in my nasty voice. The voice I’d perfected from nagging my lazy butt husband.

Mr. Combover clears his throat and leans in again. I bend backwards as far as possible in my chair, but he’s undeterred. “So, I’m just gonna get this out there and not waste my time.” At this point, I should raise one eyebrow, but, as we’ve established, I can’t do that so I just stare at him. “Do you put out? ‘Cuz if not, I ain’t got time for you.”

Oh no, he didn’t. “What,” I sputter and grab for my wine glass, which I down in one go. Never said I was a classy lady.

“Do. You. Put. Out?” Yes, he really enunciates it like I didn’t understand him the first time.

           

About the Author

I was born and raised in Wisconsin, but think I’m a European. After spending my senior year of high school in Germany, I developed a bad case of wanderlust that is yet to be cured. My flying Dutch husband and I have lived in Ohio, Virginia, the Netherlands, Germany and now Istanbul. We still haven’t decided if we want to settle down somewhere – let alone where. Although I’ve been a military policewoman, a commercial lawyer, and a B&B owner, I think with writing I may have finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. That’s assuming I ever grow up, of course. Between tennis, running, traveling, singing off tune, drinking entirely too many adult beverages, and reading books like they are going out of style, I write articles for a local expat magazine and various websites, review other indie authors’ books, write a blog about whatever comes to mind and am working on my fifth book.

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Entertaining Angels & Before We Say I Do by Emerald Barnes: Excerpt!

 

Zach

The Mississippi Heat bore down on my body as I stared at the church that I’d led Madison to not all that long ago.  Even as an angel, I had missed being around her and Chase.  They had become an important part of my life, and I would never forget them.  Just like I would never forget a single human that I had helped reach their greater potential.  Unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to keep up with Chase and Madison like I’d wanted.  I was busy with my other jobs, but I’d been granted the day off – sort of. 

“Zach!”

That voice caused my heart to swell with pure happiness.  Madison.  I turned around and faced the beautiful woman behind me.  She was dressed in a dazzling white dress that hugged every curve she had always loathed. The dress itself shone from the beads and jewels in the bright sunshine, and she literally looked like she was glowing.  She’d lost some weight, but I knew that it wasn’t because she thought it would help her feel more beautiful.  She was now doing it for a healthier lifestyle, but losing weight hadn’t taken away her curves. Her long curls were draped in a ponytail over her right shoulder, and she had jewels in her hair. She wore makeup that accentuated her sharp cheekbones and bright blue eyes.

“You look amazing, Madison.”

Her curls bounced as she ran toward me.  She flung one arm around my neck, and I picked her up, spinning her around.  The lace skirt of her dress flew out behind us as she held her train over her arm. She laughed, and I could tell the difference that just one year had made in her life, a year of serving God and achieving true happiness.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, her laughter still ringing through the air.

“I heard the big news. Seems like someone sent up an invite.” I smiled at her, and her eyes widened.

“You came for the wedding?”

“Of course!  Did you think I would miss it?”

She smiled brightly and said, “Have you seen Chase?  He’d be happy to see you.”

“I was heading that way.  I wanted to see you first.  To give the bride a kiss.”

I leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek, wished her the best, and I excused myself when Madison’s mom insisted that she get inside the church and away from anything that might soil her beautiful white wedding gown. Laughing, I walked into the church and searched for Chase.

People around me hustled and bustled as they decorated and prepared the food for the reception.  I tried to keep out of the way as much as I possibly could.  Finally, I heard Chase’s voice in a Sunday school room so I knocked on the door, and when it opened, I said, “Hi.”

Chase’s mouth dropped open.  “Zach?”

Admittedly, I enjoyed the surprise factor. “In the flesh.  Sort of.”

Chase laughed and pulled me into a tight embrace.  I laughed with him, happy to see my old friend.  At one point, Chase had thought that we were rivals, but we were never rivals over Madison’s heart.  I was only there to point Madison in the right direction.  All she needed was a little guidance when it came to listening to her heart, and her heart was pointed in the direction of Chase.  It always was; she just couldn’t see it at that time.

 

Entertaining Angels SYNOPSIS

Madison Andrews can’t face her reflection in the mirror. All she sees is a big, fat nobody. Yet, deep inside she longs for something more, something that’s not skin deep.

Along comes Zach, the new guy in school. He’s smoking hot and totally out of her league. She somehow catches his eye, and he makes her feel beautiful for once. But just as she gets close to Zach, her nerdy best friend, Chase, won’t let Madison doubt her true beauty, no matter how many meals she skips.

Even as Madison begins to realize that she is more than what she thinks, darker forces are at work, darker than the lies and mocking from her peers, stopping her from amounting to her full potential. Can Madison find true happiness in her own skin?

Before We Say I Do (sequel novella) SYNOPSIS

Following the best-selling first book of the series, Entertaining Angels, comes Before We Say I Do, An Entertaining Angels Short Story.

Chase Sanders and Madison Andrews are about to declare their love for one another in the most sacred of ways. Everything has been going perfectly, especially when an old friend returns to town to stand by Chase’s side on their big day. But is Zach there to see their union, or is he concealing the truth of why he’s actually back in town?

Chase has lived perfectly fine without his father around, but now that his father is divorcing again, he is seeking forgiveness. Chase can’t look at his father, let alone forgive him.

Before Chase and Mads can say “I Do,” Chase must first learn to let go of the past before the dark forces that haunt his nightmares come to life.

*This is a short story and isn't a prequel to Entertaining Angels. In order to understand it, you'll need to read Entertaining Angels first.*

The Author

Emerald Barnes graduated with a B.A. in English with an emphasis on Creative Writing at Mississippi University for Women. She resides in a small town in Mississippi and has the accent to prove it.

She's constantly working on new novels and has more ideas than she knows what to do with. She blogs at emeraldbarnes.blogspot.com and ebarnes23.wordpress.com which takes up more of her time than she anticipates but loves it so very much!

She's an auntie to three beautiful nieces and two handsome nephews who take up the other half of her time, but she couldn't imagine spending her time in any other way!

She's a Whovian, a little bit of a nerd, a reader, a writer, and a family-oriented person. God is number one in her life, and she thanks Him continuously for His love and favor.

She loves to stay in touch with her readers and to hear their stories about her work! Feel free to connect with her.